I mean...really God!?

Exodus 20:5 New King James Version (NKJV)
you shall not bow down to them nor [a]serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting[b] the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me

(This post is raw:unedited off the top of my head and how it came out)

Understand that. FOUR GENERATIONS. I mean one I definitely understand, their kids? Maybe I can stretch to that, maybe they were there/grown, didn't have anything to say for themselves, didn't defend God. But the two after that?!?! I don't even know my grandparents, let alone their grand parents! Yet I find myself in the midst of a spiritual battle, birthed before I was even thought about and I can't help but wonder if they offended/transgressed against God (because things are starting to get weird, and its only going to get worse before it gets better).

And if one of you did (whichever ancestor it was) shame on you! Someone should've slapped the taste out of your mouth for even thinking about coming against God (Not to incite violence but you get the idea - saying that I'm air slapping these people right now). You're dead now I'm the one fighting!

I do not blame God, not even one bit.

The truth is I probably need to ask for forgiveness for the title, but I promised honesty when writing this blog. I'm struggling today.

It is written:

Ephesians 6:12 "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of [c]the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."

I have read the Bible before my walk with God began proper, I used to see these phrases and think "that was a terrible time to live in, at least we're not out here fighting demons now!". How wrong I was, demons are real and so is the struggle.

The real problem is, there's something in the blood. Something about ancestry and decendancy that means I have to be the one to fight for my ancestors inequities. You can find yourself going down a dark hole questioning the why of it all, but you wouldn't complain if the same mechanism meant you inherit the wealth/promises of your parents. In believing in Jesus, thats what happens, we become the adopted children of God and inherit His promises. So just as Job said, we have to take the good and the bad.

Back to this fight, it would be better if I had a tag-team partner. Someone to tag out to when I need strengthening myself....but I find myself alone. It's the hardest thing I have had to face, because few people even understand what you're going through, theres no precedent for my exact circumstances in the Bible, and the One that can help does things according to His will and His timing; and that can be painful.

Crying out to God: "God I need help, remove this cup of suffering! You are an all powerful God why not just make it go away?" and His response? "Not my will". Everyone has heard "to whom much is given much is expected/required" well here's where it came from:

Luke 12:48 New King James Version (NKJV)
48 But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few. For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.
So I'm hoping this is all because God has a high annointing on my life, and this is part of the preperation, right now however it doesn't make me feel any less stuck, any less alone.

So I find myself hoping that this is so hard, because God has given me so much, and therefore so much is required. Pray for strength you'll all say, but that doesn't help my motivation. And I can be strong and just as distracted by how I'm feeling or the urge to do something, ANYTHING, else.

Reflect on this, just yesterday I put up the importance of being thankful. If you watch the video you'll note, (hint:please take notes they will be invaluable!) Dr Charles Stanley makes a number of good points on giving thanks.

I'm not going to give the game away so I will just focus on these:
1. It keeps our focus on God rather than our circumstances. Thanking Him may not change our circumstance but our attitude towards our circumstance. (into the Spirit as opposed the flesh)
2. Praise and thanksgiving energizes us. So when we are feeling negative. We should Thank God.
Yet but one day later. I'm struggling. I am struggling to implement the very thing I was so elated about yesterday. God gave me a long list of things to do, in the midst of the warfare, and because of my lack of motivation, feeling alone, needing a break from all this - which I can't have because both my salvation and those around me depends on it - I am struggling!

So I flailed/prayed to God and he gave me a verse:

James 1:23-27 New King James Version (NKJV)
23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; 24 for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was.

Understand this wasn't my prayer, it went something along the lines of "SENNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDD HEEEEELLLLLPPPPPPPPPP!"

Head coach God, basically just said "get your head back in the game, we just ran this play yesterday!". I wanted to share this with you all though, and let you know this is the struggle. It happens. I literally made a post about giving thanks yesterday, watched a video about all the benefits, the NEXT day the test came and I still couldn't do it.

It happens sometimes, and if you're going through the same thing, read my example and I hope it helps you feel, this is normal.

This faith journey is going to take you to many places. It is written our weapons are not carnal (2 Corinthians 10:4). What God is really doing through his instructions is giving me weapons (still doesn't make this easy).

 Giving thanks to God is a weapon, because it keeps you in the spirit and allows you to access the other fruits of the spirit (read Galatians 5).

What helped me come out of this situation was writing this blog, because it made me thankful. That God ministers to me, that I can reach out and try to help others, that I have this outlet of expression, that I have faith in God.

It gives me great joy just writing this post hoping that it helps anyone out there, even just one person.

I didn't plan this blog, and that's how it goes with God sometimes. I wanted to write a blog on "how to give thanks to God" and He turned it into a testimony. I had it all planned out my head to write about how you can sing hymns, listen to praise music and sing along, attend worship service etc.

In writing this I came to realise the fact that I can be used by Him this way, for His glory, is the best thanks I can give to Him.

So thank You, God. Hallelujah!