Being More Intentional

                           

                              Photo Credit: Pinterest: Finding Time To Fly

I am certain I am not a lone voice in not understanding the relationship between being led by the Spirit, and my own free will. Of all the stumblings of my walk by faith this is certainly the most persistent, and most interesting.

I do not plan what I write.

Nor do I seem able to do so.

Any semblence of a plan, is immediately done away with once I start typing. I wrote about this when I finally understood, or perhaps relented, that God is in control even here.

I have read my posts, I am my own worst critic, and if I am honest they are of varying and (hopefully improving!) quality, the best of which are always produced when I write about what is on the mind of God. When I am led by the Spirit.

Yet because of this, perhaps communicating my own spiritual immaturity, I am far from intentional in spending the time creating these posts, perfecting my craft, improving my writing, such that I become more effective for Him.

And if this were a traditional "occupation" would I not dedicate more time to my craft either by coercion, or necessity? Would I not complete CPD, training, or anything I could, if it meant the prospect of becoming more effective and furthering my career?

The answer is yes I would, because I did.

Every qualification I had from my high school education to my degree was self-taught, and in the case of my degree self funded, looking toward the promise of a career for motivation.

How much greater the gift of eternal life, the promise of relationship with an eternal loving God or His abundant blessings? So why am I not spending more time investing in the gifts God has given me, that I may serve Him, and His people better?! Surely this is far better than any career I could have hoped for?

To not treat my obligations to God with at least equal esteem, as those I had when I was interested in a career, is to relegate God's work below that of man, elevate temporal above the eternal. In my ignorance before I knew Him, perhaps I could be excused, but now? Certainly not.

Considering His word and all He has done, not just for me but all of mankind, this simply does not make sense.

So I looked into how to improve my writing, how to become a more effective communicator. I signed up, and paid for, Skill Share, bought some books to read by Christian authors and yet how much time have I spent enjoying the content I paid for? Embarassingly little. Indeed what I will to do, that I do not practice! (Romans 7:15)

Perhaps in this season this is why He has brought me to a standstill. To focus upon Him and His will, and nothing else.

The gift of grace allows me to underperform, but not become lazy nor make excuses for continuing to fall short. I thank the Lord that He is faithful, patient and has not taken away this gifting from me.

God has shown me so many things He has for me in my future, some of which I cannot even believe, and all He is asking me to do is serve Him. I pray, this is a seed moment and my present circumstances the fertile ground for growth.

I do not have the answer to the balance between my own free will and to be led by the Spirit, growth in faith is needed, but one thing is certain:

I must do better.