God's Perfect Timing: My Imperfect Frustration

(Written in real time as I am going through it)

Today has been a very trying day - and its not over yet!  For 6 weeks I have been waiting on the fulfillment of one of God's promises to me. The hour is coming and now is (see what I did there...).

He has told me this promise is to "imminently" come to pass. The trouble with using the word "imminently" is that its HIS word, used to increase MY expectation (so that I am waiting in faith, not doubt as doubt leads to unbelief) but waiting upon HIS timing. I don't think I need to mention how God's timing, definitely is NOT, the same as your timing. This is torture.

Wait on the Lord ; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord !
Psalms 27:14 NKJV

I feel like the word "courage" should be double underlined, bold, in neon colours, pulsating with an accompanying GIF. God told me to be still and know He is God, he has instructed me not to work during this time, for six weeks  this has now been the case.

Whilst I am still renewing my mind its hard to watch as bills come due, my bank account being empty, direct debits bouncing, food is dwindling (I mean is God telling me I could lose a few pounds? It's getting serious out here!), the cash in my hand is dwindling to nought and God is choosing now as a time to test my faith.

There is nothing about my present circumstance that says God is just about to come through and despite all of this my spirit is expectant......but my flesh is frustrated, anxious, hungry, wanting to take control of the situation.

Wanting to disobey God.

What I am experiencing is exactly what is stated in Galatians 5:

For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.
Galatians 5:17 NKJV

So now I know this is what is happening, and I cannot stress to you how hard this is, what exactly am I going to do about it?

I have learnt from my mistakes in the past, and I want whoever is reading this to pay close attention. Whatever you feed at this moment is going to determine if you are going to remain walking by faith, or slip into the flesh and fall short of your blessing.

So right now, as you are feeling frustrated.

Feed. The. Spirit.

Turn to the word. This is why it is good to be armed with the word of God memorise it, and it you're not there yet just know what to search for.

I am pasting these in real time, because I am ministering to myself, if you find this useful let me know in the comments/add your more verses:

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.
Hebrews 10:23 NKJV
God let me know about the power of faith confessions, but furthermore, holding fast to those confessions, for He is faithful and He will come through for me.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;
Proverbs 3:5‭ NKJV
This is saying trust me, trying to operate by what you see and understand is making you nervous.

Be still, and know that I am God;
Psalms 46:10 NKJV
Relax, know that God has this under control.

I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:12‭-‬13 NKJV
This is a growing point. I'm not here yet but I need to learn how to be content whatever the circumstance. But that last sentence is power, if you find yourself in this situation saying that out loud is so powerful. I can do all things through Christ who strenghthens me.

So he answered and said to me: “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ Says the Lord of hosts. ‘Who are you, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel you  shall  become a plain! And he shall bring forth the capstone With shouts of “Grace, grace to it!” ’ ”
Zechariah 4:6‭-‬7 NKJV
This is telling me switch your perspective, the mountain before me shall become a plain by the Spirit of God. My God is bigger than my problem!

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:1‭-‬2 NKJV
Look to Jesus for strength, on this race of endurance.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
James 1:2‭-‬4 NKJV
Thank God for the trial and the work He is doing in me. Amen!

This is a journey, this is hard, I don't pretend to understand it or understand God, but what I can tell you is if you ever find yourself stuck like me, feed the Spirit. Turn to God not away from Him. Use every tool and resource He gave you to overcome and stay in obedience.

I hold fast to my confession. I believe the blessing is around the corner. I believe I will make it, even if I am a few pounds lighter by the time I get there.