Overcoming a Rough Day

I find myself today, once again, wrestling.

It cannot be said enough:               

Ephesians 6:12 New King James Version (NKJV)
12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

The Holy Spirit has imparted upon me His wisdom, that is true heavenly wisdom and not earthly wisdom (James 3:13-18), such that I am entirely cognisant of the season in which I am in.

Not through reasoning, but by the power of revelation.

I have taken up my cross, and entered into a period of sacrifice, yet this knowledge does not prevent my struggles. For underlying this larger struggle, is a battle fought on more intimate grounds:

Galatians 5:17 New King James Version (NKJV)
17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.

So though I am cognisant of the season I am in, though I want to count it all joy for the trials (James 1:2) my flesh is incapable of such. My flesh remains wilfully in a place of anxiety, focused upon the temporal "truth" of my situation, not the eternal truth that God is in control.

Despite my best efforts, I cannot escape these thoughts.

Faith confessions to the contrary, seeking counsel and conversation have all added to my struggles. People draw from the well within me, at a time when I desperately trying to avoid running dry.

God is silent when I pray, for whatever reason, I am not hearing from Him. His outstretched hand seems to have pulled back from me. I am without direction when I read the Bible, not therefore just praying amiss, but reading amiss.

So why then am I writing this post? Regular readers would have heard enough of my struggles, and I am certainly sick of writing about them!

So far this is not encouraging, this is not edifying, so....why? Simple:

2 Corinthians 10:3-6 New King James Version (NKJV)
3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, 6 and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.

See my anxious thoughts left alone would lead to my disobedience, going to work despite God telling me not to do so, taking matters into my own hands.

Thus, not surrendering to God's will.

So it may seem strange, but my service is a weapon. But why?

James 4:7 New King James Version (NKJV)
Humility Cures Worldliness
7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

Because the devil is trying to bring me out of submission to God! If I am in God's presence, doing His will and His work, in His strength I can resist the devil and he will flee from me!

So instead I choose to draw closer to God that He may draw near to me (James 4:8), through this blog. For every anxious thought that is in my mind, telling me to stop, telling me to disobey, telling me to forsake God for He is keeping me a place of anguish; I defy those voices with my service.

If the enemy thought that they could disable me, I shall use this attack as fuel. The weapon formed against me to turn away from God, I instead turn to Him to frustrate the enemy, and further God's kingdom.

I will instead tell all who listen that God is in control, feeding the Spirit by doing the will of the Father (John 4:34), such that the internal battle is won in this day by the Spirit, that the flesh is brought into submission. Allowing me to access those fruits of the Spirit that well help me endure unto the promise: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

I will submit to God, resist the devil such that he flees from me (James 4:8). Using the precise spiritual attack that the enemy sought to turn me away from God, thus not submitting to Him, I choose to use that to serve God. Glorifying God, that even such an attack can be used for my good, and in turn for whomever reads this post. I can assure you I feel much better writing this sentence, then the one at the beginning.

Brothers and sisters in Christ. Do not put God in a box, I am learning to draw closer, and experience, Him in several ways. One of your greatest weapons is to surely reconnect to the source? An all powerful eternal God, whom makes the demons tremble (James 2:19). Bring yourself into submission of His will for you and draw closer to Him. Do so in any way that you can.

This has helped me, and I pray that post helps you. Submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you (James 4:7). Do not entertain those thoughts in your head, do not engage, rebuke them! For every thought telling you to turn away from God, silence them and turn to Him.

As for me? Abraham endured unto his promise, so too shall I endure unto mine.

I have bad days, yet these bad days are set backs not defeat.

Christ already obtained the victory. Detractors may mock you, the enemy may get in a blow here or there, but it is written:

1 Kings 20:11 New King James Version (NKJV)
".....‘Let not the one who puts on his armor boast like the one who takes it off.’"


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Waiting on God: Overcoming Frustration with Faith

I love this picture.

I love this picture because it communicates a frustration I used to have in my daily life.

Waiting on the train.

Now that was an exercise in patience! Delay after delay, and when it finally turned up there were no seats left, people would all rush and push to get in so desperate to get to a job, that I'm willing to speculate most of them didn't even like! Let me go further, I was rushing and pushing to go to a job that I didn't even like!

I should add, at that time I thought that was an exercise in patience.

Yet that was no exercise in patience....no no. That was child's play.

Patience when you have an electronic board updating you minute by minute with the progress of the train, is no exercise in patience at all, managing frustration? Perhaps, but patience certainly not. And some of you may be ready to fervently disagree, but this I tell you, that was the patience of my flesh - this kind of patience will fail you it is totally inadequate when it comes to waiting on God. (the Bible is so full of these examples I cannot even begin to quote them!).

Now I find myself waiting on a promise from God, one where I do not know the minute nor the hour nor even the day. One where there is no update, there is no person to consult on alternative methods of travel. There is but One who controls the timing. On this journey I am on, I realise this is a test. This is about Godly patience, a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22).

I wrote a post on how much faith do you have where I articulated that its easy to say you believe in God within the realm of your understanding, dealing in the physical and what you can see, but would you still be able to believe in Him when your circumstances defied your understanding?

I have been waiting on God on a promise for a while now, (8 weeks or so without work or pay...yikes!) and previously when I spoke about this, I spoke about how frustrating it can be. Though I have grown since then the recognition of everything I have written about in this post, doesn't mean I don't suffer moments of frustration.

This then is my test. God is asking me a question. What do you believe in more? Me or your circumstances? It is written "not by might nor by power, but by the Spirit of God" (Zachariah 4:6) but do you believe this? Do you actually believe there is nothing outside of the scope of My power?

In essence God is asking me how much faith do you have?

Praise God for He is worthy of praise! Because He has built me up to this point that I may learn this lesson, for my own good. For how do I grow in relationship with God without Him increasing my faith? How do I get to a stage where I can say "I walk by faith not by sight" (2 Corinthians 5:7) unless He puts me in these situations?

So here is what I have learned. Give in to faith.

The Spirit and the flesh are contrary to one another (Galatians 5:17), so ultimately God is telling me to make a choice. He has said I have told you to "be still and know I am God", I have given you the gift of the Holy Spirit for believing in my Son. I have taken you on a journey and taught you along the way, now choose. Will you believe in me or what your eyes have seen, which can never see me?

My answer?

I choose believing in God.
I choose His word, and His Word, to give me the peace that I need to wait on Him.
I choose to be thankful to God even when I don't understand.
I choose to wait patiently not knowing the minute, hour or day because its a privilege to wait.
I choose to cast down every argument and high thing that exalts itself above the knowledge of God (2 Corinthians 10:5) including what I think.

Because peace is so much better than anxiety:
I choose my faith over my frustration.

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